The Father

One did not know

What to make of him.

 

A living saint?

Or a misguided fool?

 

But the words

Seemed to enter a place

That words rarely do . . .

 

He was asked,

What it means to be a good father.

And what he taught his children.

 

This . . .

Is what he said.

 

You ask me what it means to be a good father.

I cannot begin to answer the question.

For perhaps you should have asked one

Who knows about such things.

 

I do not know what my children think of me.

And, frankly, it is not my place to know.

 

Whatever I did

That happened to provide benefit

Or happened to cause harm,

Was from a place of Not Knowing.

 

It is easy for a man to take credit for the good.

And to take blame for the bad.

And though I am forever willing to accept blame . . .

To take credit, would be to imply strategy and knowledge.

 

Am I a good father?

Are the children good children?

What is good?

And who can say?

 

How can one make conclusive judgments

When he knows so little.

 

Might they adore me?

Perhaps.

Might they ridicule me?

Perhaps.

Might they turn their back on me?

Perhaps.

 

Who can orchestrate

The complexity of emotional outcomes?

 

One may say to me

That I did my best.

For me to accept this

Would be to accept

That I could not have done but a single thing more.

 

While it may be easy

To wish I would have changed things.

It is not so easy to say

What they should have been changed-to.

 

One may reasonably state

That all things fail.

 

If done by the hand of man,

This is most certainly true.

 

What can a man give

Other than all that he has.

 

What is there to be prideful of

If ‘all that he had’

Includes the good

And the bad.

 

Hope is understandable.

But it is not wise.

For it pressure’s nature to give

What it often cannot.

 

You ask me what I have taught my children.

When it is more about what they have learned.

 

Teaching is a falsehood.

For it places the burden of omniscience

Upon one who does not know.

 

There is much to learn,

But little to teach.

 

Perhaps it should be said

That no child become his father.

 

For no matter the noble qualities of the man,

Shall they never supplant

Those of the child.

 

I am ready to listen to my failures,

Rather than my successes.

 

For the former are the result of my influence.

And the latter, despite it.

 

Namaste.