On The Success And Failure Of Your Children

The center of a tectonic plate is a quiet place.

At its center, there is nothing created and nothing destroyed.

But where two tectonic plates collide, the possibility of the Himalayas is born.

And so is the possibility of unmitigated disaster.

Triumph and disaster happen at the intersection of things.

And it is in this very intersection that the life of a human being moves.

Teaching a child has little effect.

Motivating a child has little effect.

Berating a child has little effect.

Controlling a child has little effect.

Understanding the natural reaction to a particular action has great effect.

Understanding the natural effect of a particular cause has great effect.

A child that receives endless affection will become complacent.

A child that receives endless scorn will become rebellious.

These are the natural effects of a given cause.

One will undoubtedly ask, “So what you are saying is that I must not be too affectionate or too scornful. I should find a happy medium between the two. Is this correct?”

Nothing could be more incorrect.

For in “trying to find a happy medium,” you will fail.

For how will you know where the “middle” is?

You will for the whole of your life overshoot to one side or the other.

The “middle” is an icy peak between two valleys. No one can remain there without slipping to one side or the other.

It is for this reason that prescriptions have no place in the life of a Serious human being.

You can no more “strategize” or “technique” your way to the middle than you can predict the precise landing spot of a drop of rain in a tropical storm.

You must understand the nature of the human organism.

He is a twelfth hour creature.

At 11:59, he still feels that he has one minute left.

This is neither good nor bad.

It is as it is.

And the wise man proceeds in accordance with it, rather than wishing for it to be another way.

This human organism is also predisposed to Reactions, rather than wisdom.

For instance, a man forces his child to get a job. Even if it is a job flipping burgers.

The reason he does so is because he himself was forced to get a job when he was a child. The nature of the job was irrelevant. So long as he obtained one.

The man will undoubtedly base his action upon the reasoning that “one must learn the value of money,” or that “one must not become lazy.”

There is indeed some truth to this logic.

And if one proceeded according to the purity of this logic alone, his action would be different.

But the purity of this logic is soiled. It is soiled by a running thread of either resentment or justice or even the fear that his child will become lazy or not learn the value of money.

In essence, his action of forcing the child to get a job is to a large degree a Reaction to his feeling of resentment or justice or fear.

Resentment against the fact that if he himself had to do it, his child should have to do it as well.

Justice for the same reason.

And fear of the possibility of his child becoming lazy or not learning the value of money.

And each of these things are rooted in other beliefs and opinions and reactions.

Belief piled upon belief. Resentment piled upon resentment. Impurity piled upon impurity. Conditioning piled upon conditioning.

Does one really believe that he can “technique” his way out of such a generational mess?

Understand this Truth: An action that is a reaction is not a True action. It is a non-action. And a non-action must result in problems.

The river of non-action flows into the ocean of problems.

An expectation placed upon a child causes him to React to this expectation.

Zero demands placed upon a child causes him to React to zero demands.

Each reaction will compel him to go down a road which is not his Natural road. Because it did not arrive organically. It arose as a reaction to an external stimulus.

Therefore, is “pushing” one’s children wise?

No.

Is “leaving one’s children to themselves” wise?

No.

Pushing is an unnatural action. Leading to an unnatural reaction.

Leaving one’s children to themselves allows them to succumb to a culture of electronics addiction and social mischief.

In essence, pushing one’s child imprisons him to the parent’s culture.

And leaving him to himself imprisons him to society’s culture.

It is for this reason that no prescription or how-to works.

The way of Truth is the way of naturalness, without Reaction.

This comes about through understanding.

Not an overly kind way of explaining to the child. For the child will likely not take it to heart.

Not an overly aggressive way of explaining to the child. For the child will likely become resentful or fearful.

What the parent must realize is that a child who understands, without feeling the pressure to React, is the child who will naturally find his way toward Success.

All things that are Natural, flow toward perfection.

Namaste.